Are you gentle and kind to yourself?   

Do you let yourself off the hook when things don’t go right?

Being gentle…what does it mean? Gentle with ourselves; gentle with others. Two key elements of gentleness is understanding and forgiveness. When things are just not going right; when you make a mistake or a poor decision or, more importantly, when you don’t listen to your inner voice; are you gentle with yourself or is there lots of negative noise and conversation in your head?

 

It is so important that we get underneath ourselves when we are feeling out of alignment. Underneath ourselves means not being afraid to dig below the surface to see what is really going on. Out of alignment usually means that you are doing something you shouldn’t, or not doing something you should. It means you have obstacles in your way to getting where you want to be or being who you truly are. So venture into the unknown, dig underneath and then be GENTLE with yourself and others.  

Some might ask, how do I get underneath myself (go inside)? One of the first things we can do is utilize our meditation skills. We also must step out of the world; out of the drama; out of the play that is going on around us.

When we are of the world all the time we sometimes lose our true nature, go down a rabbit hole and find ourselves out of alignment. Step out of the world; out of the drama and go underneath or inside and discover your true self. This will bring perspective. Monitor the thoughts in your head and ask yourself “do I know for sure it is true”.  Most of the time it is just noise. 

It happens to everyone so remember, forgive yourself, be gentle and move on quickly. Remove the obstacles, adjust direction easily and quickly and be kind.   If others have contributed to your derailment remember you had a choice and you need to forgive others as well and simply just move on towards alignment.

I was the lucky receiver of this reminder 4 weeks ago while in New York, at a writers workshop and I can tell you it has changed the past month for me significantly.  Someone very famous and very smart said, “Yvonne you know the answers, go inside and seek the truth then forgive, and take the right action”.  I did that and have not looked back since.

A special note on forgiveness:

Forgiveness is not about the person you forgive but is all about YOU. It is the most liberating and freeing thing a person can do. When you are truly wronged and you harbor negative thoughts and anger towards another person, it never hurts the other person it only hurts you. When you decide to forgive, it does not mean that what the other person did was OK or that you accept it; it simply means you forgive them for their action.  Once you are able to forgive another person you are free to truly move on. If  you hold anger or negativity towards another person I challenge you to try forgiveness and you will see how truly liberating it is.